The Pacific Coast Highway takes some precipitous turns out of the Big Sur. Admiring the views while driving is not to be recommended, unless you want to meet the 'Creator'.

The route is mostly stunning, but sometimes disappointing.

A waterfall was advertised as worth a look at the 'Julia Pfeiffer Burns State Park'. I turned off the dizzy climbs, paid 8 USD for parking and wandered along a trail to view it.
I passed a cove with a small cliff spewing out a trickle of water, it was about as dramatic as a urinating lemming. I was flabbergasted to find out this was the amazing waterfall. Oh dear. At least the exchange rate was favourable.

I arrived in Santa Barbara in good spirits, as the bagel I had eaten a few days earlier had finally digested.

What a great place.

It has its own micro climate and is surrounded by magnificent hills with some great trails (if you don't mind rattle snakes and the odd hungry mountain lion). I stayed at my aunt's house, drank a lot of good wine, played Yahtzee and repeatedly walked into fly screens while under the influence.

I was taken to an amazing Mexican place called 'La Super Rica Taqueria' on Milpas street. Apparently one of the best in California, cunningly disguised as a run down shack. The lady pressing out the tortillas looked like she had been doing it since the dawn of time. 'Awesome man', as they say in the States.

I also went to a nearby old coach stop called 'Cold Spring Tavern', off highway 154. It is an excellent bikers bar, a cross between an elaborate garden shed and an English pub. Great local Firestone Ale and beef rolls with some live music thrown in. I experienced Pretzels here. A bit like rock salt covered dried shoe laces, but a good thirst maker.

On to Los Angeles. One big freeway in bad repair, strewn with litter. Luckily I stayed in South Pasadena which is very civilized. I expected Marti McFly to drive by in his DeLorean at any moment.

I visited Orange County and Huntington Beach. Fake breasts and long boards seemed like the theme there. 'Excellent dude' or 'gnarly' are good terms to familiarize yourself with. A pretty stunning surf spot.

Here endeth a fantastic holiday. I really took to the Californian lifestyle with the sense of space and scale, as reflected in my belly.

I have a short list of noted points :

- Bagels are like many loaves of bread condensed into a doughnut as heavy as the centre of a neutron star (which is extremely heavy by the way).

- The 'Stop' and wait priority road junction system could get messy.

- Salads are always a ridiculous size and are normally floating on a sea of one of the million dressing choices.

- If you order iced tea it is constantly topped up for free, as will the urinal for the next few hours.

- Keep an eye on your food in a restaurant. If you are inattentive then it will be magically wrapped up in a doggy bag before you know it, adding to the already growing collection in the fridge.

- Over 1000 cable channels makes watching TV a lifetime pursuit for quality.

- Californian restaurants have excellent wine lists, especially Pinot Noir.

- Mexican is the equivalent of our Indian food, and I love it.

- I prefer our version of English, but after a while the Americanisms are endearing. They can be very infectious.

- Be prepared to answer 20 questions if you order a simple sandwich.

- Waiters have a finite list of questions and expected responses. 'Full fat coke' is not one of them. Do not venture out of the service industry comfort zone, or confusion will ensue.

- The word 'please' seems to have become 'can I get'.

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