It's cold out there this evening and it is now past midnight. Due to my current penny pinching nature the heating switched itself off much earlier, so my hands are almost rigid with cold while typing this.
I am a bit of a night owl, and find bed is the last resort. I would much rather sip wine, eat Hula Hoops, and write down my random thoughts into the 'cloud' that is the internet. Speaking of which I have just joined Twitter. I am unsure why as I cannot reconcile doing and reporting on doing at the same time.
It looks like a full time job tattling on Twitter.
In fact it would probably turn your days into sitting at a 'device', reporting on imaginary exploits and carving a fantasy bite-size life for any bored follower to read. Ah yes, of course, if you thought that was a drain on time, you have to follow as well.
Maybe I am better off hiring a personal assistant to shadow me everywhere and Twitter about my rather uninteresting exploits for me all day.
A sort of 'Ghost Twitterer'.
As long as the companion does not drink any of my precious wine I will be happy (beginning to sound like Gollum, that will be the extreme cold affecting my brain).
Ialso need lots of words to say anything (as you no doubt have noticed) so Twitter will take a bit of getting used to. It is like unlimited text messaging to random people for free as opposed to my modest text phone package. As you probably are gathering it will take some time to get my frozen head around it.

Thankfully I am drinking a wine with a fairly healthy alcohol content this evening which is sort of warming. Well it actually is not at all warming, in fact my Hula Hoops provide more warmth, I will explain.
The alcohol (get images of St Bernards carrying brandy in the snow out of your head) just brings your warm life blood to the skin surface layers, removing valuable heat from your core, giving the illusion of added heat. At this point a clever looking person in a white coat will point out that this is obvious and start tediously reciting the laws of thermodynamics. Hula Hoops conversely provide the energy for me to rub my hands together, the friction generates heat and helps me type sort of coherently.My wine is an average tasting Fitou fresh from Sainsbury's at 13.5%. Looking at the glass I can see the tears of wine, or legs appearing above the inky horizon. This is caused by a complex mixture of surface tension and alcohol evaporating faster than water.
If I just sat here, waited for the next ice age (which ironically may well be caused by global warming), and watched the glass of wine, at 0 degrees C water would freeze, turning my wine and me into a slush puppie (don't forget us humans are about 60 % water). At around -10 degrees C you will get a mostly solid lump, but ethanol (the alcohol we drink) freezes at -114 degrees C. So for 'frozen wine for the purist' you will need to apply liberal amounts of liquid nitrogen (that is at about -196 degrees C). The caped Little Chef, Heston Bumenthal would have to make a guest appearance, he is like one of the 'X Men' with his liquid nitrogen ways.
Back to reality and Twitter is calling, it is already becoming addictive.

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