I caught a glimpse of my now seemingly Orwellian Telescreen last night

"The instrument could be dimmed, but there was no way of shutting it off completely." ...sigh...

and noted that 'I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here!' was attempting to turn the tables, granting me the role of Big Brother (the producers have failed to note that the concept of celebrity is so loose and ephemeral now, it is ceasing to harbour any meaning).

What strikes you about these 'people' in the jungle are their cravings. Plain rice causes havoc with your mind and a piece of chocolate would almost be willingly traded for anything of disproportionate value in the real world. In this case the contestants 'luxury items' are traded. Who knows, Jordan may trade her implants, unzipped and removed in exchange for some sugar in her tea.

This forced abstinence made me think of a week recently when I did not drink a drop of wine. So many meals passed by without the perfect partner, the anticipation was enormous. When I finally made it, the first sip was mind blowing. A very ordinary bottle of plonk was giving me so much pleasure. Every sensory nerve ending was jumping with joy at this familiar but relatively long lost friend. I could almost pick out each molecule of aroma, my senses sharpened, practically tasting wine at ten paces on the prevailing wind alone. I was a temporary new member of the X-Men with a 'super palate', although I am unsure how I could save the world with this skill. My main arch-enemy would be Matt Skinner with his mystical remote viewing and tasting powers.

My point is that regular drinking of wine inevitably ends up in 'diminishing marginal utility' i.e. the more frequently you consume, the less you enjoy. You know that feeling... the second cup of tea never satisfies quite as much as the first. This has to be an issue for wine tasters. I would recommend putting Robert Parker in the jungle for a while and then getting him to revisit a bottle or two once released. I guarantee he would probably rework his rather odd rating system, and start the scoring base at 100 points, not 50 for his first sips, carried away on the novelty.

Unrelenting 'reality TV' though is still clearly hands down the best example of diminishing marginal utility. I am beyond sick of it.

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