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September 02, 2009

Sherry Trifle

I will start with a simple enough question -

'How could a sherry trifle get you into trouble at work?'

A slightly longer answer...stay with me on this -

I demolished a bottle of rather delicious Chianti over lunch with a friend this weekend. The lunch was homemade pizza, and could be considered a light accompaniment for the heavy dusty Sangiovese.

Even after the first half glass I noticed that sense of lunchtime light-headedness that does not seem to happen early evening. Like someone has hit you with the silly stick, and the world starts to bounce around in a light puffy jovial way. All life's sharp edges briefly turn wonderfully soft and curvy. I think this feeling is more noticeable with the first few sips as there is a stark contrast with your normal alcohol free state of mind. Once into the second glass you are more used to the effect, and you have forgotten what it feels like to be in a world without wine.

One acronym elegantly explains what is happening in your body.

ADH

Alcohol dehydrogenases are enzymes we are blessed with, and are the reason we can drink alcohol at all. They break down ethanol into other substances we can deal with safely. They probably evolved to break down naturally occurring ethanol generated from bacteria processing in the gut.

Anyway full marks to you Mr Evolution for allowing us the choice of this simple pleasure in life.

The reason that you feel more 'drunk' at lunch is that the enzyme builds up during the day, and there will therefore be less of it to get rid of alcohol at lunch than in the evening.

Unfortunately alcohol dehydrogenases are both sexist and ageist in their quantities produced in the body, hence the stark tolerance differences you may have noticed in your nearest and dearest.

ADH also has a crucial role to play in the wine making process. Yeasts ferment glucose to alcohol and carbon dioxide with dehydrogenases. It's the reverse process to us humans. So the yeasts make the booze and we break it down, all with the same group of enzymes. This glorious reciprocal relationship was clearly written in the stars.

We all probably agree that acronyms are intensely annoying and confusing. Here is a perfect example. There is another completely different ADH in the human body related to drinking, the antidiuretic hormone. If you drink alcohol you will suppress this hormone. This is why lots of booze can mean lots of trips to the loo. The body just passes the fluid on through, not in its normal efficient absorbing way.

This is especially true for the sheer volume consumed by beer drinkers, after all

'You can never buy beer, you just rent it'

My glass of Chianti in the safety of my weekend reminded me that modern day culture is calling last orders on the days of lunchtime tipples at work. Back in the late 80's, whilst in my first office job, I remember lunchtime drinking was more the norm, especially on a Friday. Now you mostly encounter draconian workplace rules, branding you an alcoholic and not fit for the workplace if you so much as sniff a glass of wine over a meal.

Most people agree that lunchtime is your own time, and so what you choose to do with it is your own business. Employers argue that even one small alcoholic drink will still be in your blood stream when you return to work, and hence feel that they can legally enforce a drinking ban. They also worry about the smell of booze in client meetings. I can understand these arguments and I think the obvious answer is responsible drinking, not all out bans. After all what about Christmas parties, work celebrations or even clients ordering wine at a lunch?

The body gets rid of one 'unit' of alcohol (half a pint of ordinary strength beer around 3-4% abv) per hour. So after one small glass of wine in your lunch break (allowing for a lead time for initial absorption into the blood stream, combined with a full stomach slowing the process), by the time you return to work you should already have fairly low levels of alcohol in your body, almost certainly below the UK driving limit. To top that, the raw garlic stuffed olive amuse-bouche mixed with your espresso breath will smell lots worse, and overpower the paltry amount of red wine gently caressing the beef bourguignon through your body.

If you are legally allowed to drive a car after a small lunchtime drink, how can you be penalised in the workplace? Do employers have breathalysers, and if so where do you draw the line for blood alcohol levels?

No more sherry trifle.

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