I have just been to the bank for some cash, you remember, that stuff before credit came and went.
After the transaction had been approved the bank clerk reluctantly stooped down to his 'time locked' safe. What's wrong with me today, I most certainly do not look like one of Patrick Swayze's Ex-Presidents. Perhaps my dying embers of a cold and slightly off-ill snotty look was threatening to the clerk. The timed safe is was.
The wait reminded me of my washing machine's infuriating lock, the passing of time dwindled (like Hiro Nakamura from 'Heroes' had just blinked) then finally there was a click and the safe door opened. I had better end the comparison there in case I use the word money and laundry in the same sentence, confusing both myself and my readers, and further marring the bank's reputation...if that is possible.

Anyway I walked through Cambridge with the last of the bank's £20 notes in a big Enfield 'loadsamoney' roll feeling slightly edgy (not in a Brand/Ross way). How many days until Christmas?..Nine I think. How many presents had I bought? None. Mild panic. What's more the notes bursting out of my pocket were not for presents, just bills.
In every window I passed there was a 50% sale on, by the time I buy anything they may be giving stuff away, you can but hope.
I passed a wine shop with some great looking deals. I may well buy wine for some people, but my wine of choice for a present would be a quirky one. Perhaps the vein stripping, fat busting Cillit Bang of all wines, invented recently by and Australian doctor. He has increased, to epic proportions,the levels of a chemical called resveratrol (which I previously wrote about here back in 2006, the longer you write a blog the more your life can seem like Groundhog Day) .He has crammed in the resveratrol content equivalent of 15 to 20 normal bottles of red wine, or 70 to 100 of white.Apparently resveratrol is tasteless and drinking this wine 'potion' adds immense health benefits, if you forget that you have a liver.

The new, rather extraordinary Corpus Clock was next to the wine shop, confusing me as ever. It is both beautiful and sinister and does not give up the time easily. After little bit of studying I realised my lunch break was over and headed back to the office, where I am now guarding my wad of cash.
Any quirky wine suggestions welcome.

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