Asymmetric Abnormality of the Gait
I developed a mild limp at the end of last week. My right foot is actively encouraging me not to walk, there are clearly some mysterious mechanical problems.
Limps do not go unnoticed by friends, and the word 'gout' is being wildly banded about with sympathetic smirks. In fact the general public are staring at me with suspicion as I hobble around the place. A limp is a very public disorder.
There is some confusion over the causes of gout. Red wine grape seeds contain procyanidins which help by reducing our uric acid levels, the cause of gout. On the other hand alcohol does not help. We are in fact very familiar with ridding our bodies of uric acid as we actively expel it into porcelain receptacles. A high purine diet (which the body converts to uric acid) is what to avoid if you are susceptible to gout. Sweet fizzy drinks are particularly bad.
Port used to contain litharge to sweeten it up, this caused lead poisoning, and the side effect of gout to irritate you even more in your madness. The only way to accidentally get lead into wine or port these days is to leave it too long in a lead crystal decanter. The lead will eventually start to seep into the liquid.
My symptoms according the the hallowed 'Dr Google' do not implicate gout, but I may well self-combust. There again that was more help than my doctor could offer, who told me to carry on as normal while popping a few pain killers. I must say I immediately felt much better after escaping from the waiting room full of the cast of 'Dawn of the Dead'. My foot seemed a small matter in the grand scheme of ailments.
I limped to a wedding in Brighton last weekend, and spent the night at a nearby Bed and Breakfast. The room was like an eighties time capsule, very chintzy, and as damp as the underside of Palace Pier. Everywhere you turned was a little typed message with peculiar etiquette or pointless warnings like 'please be aware that the towel rail is hot'. If it was actually hot then maybe some of the damp would have been dispelled.
Sort of refreshed, my musty clothes and I went to Littlehampton to meet friends for lunch the next day at a cool new place called the 'East Beach Cafe'. I parked the car and found myself wandering through a 'mature', large crazy golf course to find the cafe. There was what only could be described as a giant discarded half chewed toffee a little further on. The ultimate challenge for the crazy golf enthusiast, 'Happy Gilmour' springs to mind. On closer inspection the other side of the toffee was glass fronted, containing the cafe I sought. Very interesting design. Inside, I felt like the filling in a Baked Alaska, a white and cavernous arena set on the beach with fabulous sea views.
I chose Moules Mariniere, a very fine use of white wine and cream. More plentiful purines.
Limps do not go unnoticed by friends, and the word 'gout' is being wildly banded about with sympathetic smirks. In fact the general public are staring at me with suspicion as I hobble around the place. A limp is a very public disorder.
There is some confusion over the causes of gout. Red wine grape seeds contain procyanidins which help by reducing our uric acid levels, the cause of gout. On the other hand alcohol does not help. We are in fact very familiar with ridding our bodies of uric acid as we actively expel it into porcelain receptacles. A high purine diet (which the body converts to uric acid) is what to avoid if you are susceptible to gout. Sweet fizzy drinks are particularly bad.
Port used to contain litharge to sweeten it up, this caused lead poisoning, and the side effect of gout to irritate you even more in your madness. The only way to accidentally get lead into wine or port these days is to leave it too long in a lead crystal decanter. The lead will eventually start to seep into the liquid.
My symptoms according the the hallowed 'Dr Google' do not implicate gout, but I may well self-combust. There again that was more help than my doctor could offer, who told me to carry on as normal while popping a few pain killers. I must say I immediately felt much better after escaping from the waiting room full of the cast of 'Dawn of the Dead'. My foot seemed a small matter in the grand scheme of ailments.
I limped to a wedding in Brighton last weekend, and spent the night at a nearby Bed and Breakfast. The room was like an eighties time capsule, very chintzy, and as damp as the underside of Palace Pier. Everywhere you turned was a little typed message with peculiar etiquette or pointless warnings like 'please be aware that the towel rail is hot'. If it was actually hot then maybe some of the damp would have been dispelled.
Sort of refreshed, my musty clothes and I went to Littlehampton to meet friends for lunch the next day at a cool new place called the 'East Beach Cafe'. I parked the car and found myself wandering through a 'mature', large crazy golf course to find the cafe. There was what only could be described as a giant discarded half chewed toffee a little further on. The ultimate challenge for the crazy golf enthusiast, 'Happy Gilmour' springs to mind. On closer inspection the other side of the toffee was glass fronted, containing the cafe I sought. Very interesting design. Inside, I felt like the filling in a Baked Alaska, a white and cavernous arena set on the beach with fabulous sea views.
I chose Moules Mariniere, a very fine use of white wine and cream. More plentiful purines.
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