Gastric Gabbling
I woke up in the early hours to find the duvet levitating above me on a cushion of last nights gaseous excesses. Within this self inflicted putrid arena, my mind turned to the environment and the damage I might be causing. I will explain....
Next time you take a cheap flight and are accused of being a 'one man global warmer' remember that cows are the real problem. Their methane farts do a lot more damage than planes, adding considerably to the rich mix of greenhouse gas. So perhaps, to make one feel a little better about aircraft effluent, you should eat a very large fillet steak before every flight, resisting the urge to fart on board (mainly for other peoples comfort).
An aircraft full of people could eat a lot of cows.
In Medieval times the world went through an even warmer spell, which was evident from the amount of grapes grown in Britain for wine production. This argument is sometimes used to rubbish the current thinking on causes for the now milder winters and hotter summers, putting it down to the world's natural cycles.
If nothing else at least we will be getting a few more homegrown bottles on our shelves as the years progress.
Measures to tackle global warning are increasingly more inventive. One idea is coaxing a small jellied ocean creature called 'salp' to eat more meals. This involves pumping up marine algae from the ocean depths, which then grow fat and happy on dissolved CO2 only to be consumed by the greedy salp. A conveyer of exotic salp food, like an endless session at YO! Sushi.
Salp poo is actually carbon pellets, which effectively locks the armageddon payload up in a General Zod (Superman 2) fashion, heavy enough to sink.
I wonder if the scientists have considered the salp farts resulting from all of this forced gluttony. The sea could turn into a rather large, smelly jacuzzi, the carbon excrement covering the ocean floor in a new swanky lining. Yet another Grand Design for Kevin to get excited about.
Next time you take a cheap flight and are accused of being a 'one man global warmer' remember that cows are the real problem. Their methane farts do a lot more damage than planes, adding considerably to the rich mix of greenhouse gas. So perhaps, to make one feel a little better about aircraft effluent, you should eat a very large fillet steak before every flight, resisting the urge to fart on board (mainly for other peoples comfort).
An aircraft full of people could eat a lot of cows.
In Medieval times the world went through an even warmer spell, which was evident from the amount of grapes grown in Britain for wine production. This argument is sometimes used to rubbish the current thinking on causes for the now milder winters and hotter summers, putting it down to the world's natural cycles.
If nothing else at least we will be getting a few more homegrown bottles on our shelves as the years progress.
Measures to tackle global warning are increasingly more inventive. One idea is coaxing a small jellied ocean creature called 'salp' to eat more meals. This involves pumping up marine algae from the ocean depths, which then grow fat and happy on dissolved CO2 only to be consumed by the greedy salp. A conveyer of exotic salp food, like an endless session at YO! Sushi.
Salp poo is actually carbon pellets, which effectively locks the armageddon payload up in a General Zod (Superman 2) fashion, heavy enough to sink.
I wonder if the scientists have considered the salp farts resulting from all of this forced gluttony. The sea could turn into a rather large, smelly jacuzzi, the carbon excrement covering the ocean floor in a new swanky lining. Yet another Grand Design for Kevin to get excited about.
1 Comments:
Don't get me going on global warming. I live near Victoria on Vancouver Island and we rarely get snow but have a look at my December 3 entry on my blog about British Columbia Picks Icewine Grapes. You'll see a picture of my sundeck railing with real snow. I like your blog and just put in another vote on the Wine Events site.
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