The Miracle Worker
While the authorities are dealing with a plague of killer swans in the north we have more mundane worries in the south. We are running out of water, on an island surrounded by water, only wrong type.
In the absence of workable large scale desalination plants, this water is only good for aesthetics. It's now so cheap and easy to fly over it (ironically making it larger with plane emmissions), the general peaceful state of our immediate neighbours means it need no longer act as a large scale medieval moat, and any creatures living in it are rapidly declining due to our voracious appetite for smothering in batter and deep frying anything that dares to move. It can't even protect us from the evil swans. But we love it all the same, sitting there teasing us with its growing undrinkable vastness, while we stumble out of our houses with parched throats to join the stand pipe queue (we queue no matter how desperate in this country) of equally unwashed rather smelly people. Well it's not that bad yet, but we are warned that stand pipes could become a reality if the heavens do not open with more regularity. It would be an odd situation to be drowned by the very stuff we are seeking, due to the ever present global warming.
This is where Jesus would come in very handy. I am sure he could see his way to turning wine back into water if things were that bad (clearly only the plethora of cheap over branded supermarket rubbish that I sometimes get drawn to). While he is at it maybe he could open the heavens and provide a little rain? Judas made sure he would not be around to help. Well maybe we can't blame Judas. Today I read that a couple of Swiss restorers have managed to piece together 13 pages of papyrus, which was the codex found in a cave in Egypt by a farmer, recently translated as being the Gospel of Judas. Of course we are all world authorities on codex thanks to Dan Brown's revelations (albeit fiction). Anyway, apparently it contains evidence that Judas was no traitor and was just doing what he was asked by Jesus. This story does actually sound like it could almost have been written by the hand of Dan Brown himself.
I am finding myself conserving water, like turning the tap off while brushing my teeth etc. Of course if the water authority spent some of those profits on a stable leak free infrastructure maybe we would not have to worry.
There is plenty of water in wine, so ignoring the drastic dehydration effects of alcohol, and the vain hope of divine intervention, wine is the way forward in this crisis. If nothing else, it makes you feel better.
In the absence of workable large scale desalination plants, this water is only good for aesthetics. It's now so cheap and easy to fly over it (ironically making it larger with plane emmissions), the general peaceful state of our immediate neighbours means it need no longer act as a large scale medieval moat, and any creatures living in it are rapidly declining due to our voracious appetite for smothering in batter and deep frying anything that dares to move. It can't even protect us from the evil swans. But we love it all the same, sitting there teasing us with its growing undrinkable vastness, while we stumble out of our houses with parched throats to join the stand pipe queue (we queue no matter how desperate in this country) of equally unwashed rather smelly people. Well it's not that bad yet, but we are warned that stand pipes could become a reality if the heavens do not open with more regularity. It would be an odd situation to be drowned by the very stuff we are seeking, due to the ever present global warming.
This is where Jesus would come in very handy. I am sure he could see his way to turning wine back into water if things were that bad (clearly only the plethora of cheap over branded supermarket rubbish that I sometimes get drawn to). While he is at it maybe he could open the heavens and provide a little rain? Judas made sure he would not be around to help. Well maybe we can't blame Judas. Today I read that a couple of Swiss restorers have managed to piece together 13 pages of papyrus, which was the codex found in a cave in Egypt by a farmer, recently translated as being the Gospel of Judas. Of course we are all world authorities on codex thanks to Dan Brown's revelations (albeit fiction). Anyway, apparently it contains evidence that Judas was no traitor and was just doing what he was asked by Jesus. This story does actually sound like it could almost have been written by the hand of Dan Brown himself.
I am finding myself conserving water, like turning the tap off while brushing my teeth etc. Of course if the water authority spent some of those profits on a stable leak free infrastructure maybe we would not have to worry.
There is plenty of water in wine, so ignoring the drastic dehydration effects of alcohol, and the vain hope of divine intervention, wine is the way forward in this crisis. If nothing else, it makes you feel better.
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